Wednesday, November 28, 2012
I Miss You
Amazing things in my life are about to happen...I can feel it. At the same time, I can't help feeling left out of everything that is happening outside of my immediate bubble. People I considered friends don't include me, or even try to talk to me, anymore....and my heart is mourning, and has been for almost a year....and I'm crying right now because I miss them so much. I want so desperately for them to be a part of my life, and I want so desperately to be a part of theirs.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
So Far...
Today is one of those days where I feel extremely insignificant. I've done nothing significant in my life and with my life. It's not that I want something significant so I can call it my own, because I will never say it is my works. Anything that I do that ends up being significant or makes the world better is all God's doing. He gets all the credit. I want to do significant things for Him and for His glory. I just want to feel like I am doing something for Him. So, that's why I feel so depressed right now. It feels like everyone in my life is doing things and going places with their talents and hopes and dreams, and I'm left still hoping and dreaming along with the talent I supposedly have looking, seeking, and waiting for opportunities to use my potential. Only problem: my opportunities are not found (they must be hiding really really good).
Monday, April 2, 2012
The State of My Reflections
I have to admit, I have been neglecting my blog again. Not only has this blog suffered, but every aspect of my recording and reflections... my journal, poetry, and sketchbooks have all felt empty. I have no excuse now since I graduated, no excuse. This should be an important time in my self discovery, and I can't believe how I let myself get away without reflecting on paper.
Not only have I been neglecting what I have mentioned above, I have realized I have been neglecting my friends. Every now and then I would see somebody, but it hasn't been anything consistent. I'm glad I have realized this now, so I can change it. I think when I came back from Richmond, I got really homesick, I missed that place and everyone I knew. Even they probably don't know and they were missed so much. I'm going to try to let people know how precious they are to me. I'm going to try real hard.
Not only have I been neglecting what I have mentioned above, I have realized I have been neglecting my friends. Every now and then I would see somebody, but it hasn't been anything consistent. I'm glad I have realized this now, so I can change it. I think when I came back from Richmond, I got really homesick, I missed that place and everyone I knew. Even they probably don't know and they were missed so much. I'm going to try to let people know how precious they are to me. I'm going to try real hard.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Fragile
[In response to what I was feeling during a meeting in the commons last thurs.]
Sometimes when I hear someone tell a story so emotionally moving, I am at a loss for words. I want to say something, but the words never leave my lips. And especially if the story is dealing with a dark subject, I try to hold back my tears and my heart gets heavy. This happened Thursday, and their stories are still on my heart and mind. All I could say to one girl in particular was “I’m sorry you had to go through that…” She had went through something I have never experienced and I felt helpless to relate. I pray for her in particular, for her to have the strength to deal with her decision and for her to have the hope that things will get better.
Sometimes when I hear someone tell a story so emotionally moving, I am at a loss for words. I want to say something, but the words never leave my lips. And especially if the story is dealing with a dark subject, I try to hold back my tears and my heart gets heavy. This happened Thursday, and their stories are still on my heart and mind. All I could say to one girl in particular was “I’m sorry you had to go through that…” She had went through something I have never experienced and I felt helpless to relate. I pray for her in particular, for her to have the strength to deal with her decision and for her to have the hope that things will get better.
Overheard
[written on sept.24]
Yesterday I was passing time sitting on a couch in a hallway facing a window in a building at my school. I was eating lunch while looking out the window, watching all the people move about on campus. Then this girl sits on the other couch on the other side of me, talking on the phone. It was odd how loud she was talking compared to what she was talking about. I felt it was personal stuff, and she didn’t even try to be discreet about it.
I was waiting for her to get off the phone so may be I could talk to her because she seemed really stressed out about her situation, but she ended up leaving while still talking on her phone. I really hope she is ok now and that things get better for her.
Yesterday I was passing time sitting on a couch in a hallway facing a window in a building at my school. I was eating lunch while looking out the window, watching all the people move about on campus. Then this girl sits on the other couch on the other side of me, talking on the phone. It was odd how loud she was talking compared to what she was talking about. I felt it was personal stuff, and she didn’t even try to be discreet about it.
I was waiting for her to get off the phone so may be I could talk to her because she seemed really stressed out about her situation, but she ended up leaving while still talking on her phone. I really hope she is ok now and that things get better for her.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
My Direction
Fears vs. Dreams
I came across this video from the twloha website. I want to do work like this. I know that I am not entirely sure about what I want to do and accomplish as a designer, but this is definitely in the right direction. I want to contribute to something that brings others together...to heal, the empathize, and maybe just to figure out who we are. I want to be able to make sense of things and come to a place where I can find peace. There has to be others out there who want the same thing. I want to connect with others, and I want others to connect. We're all in this life-thing together. So then why is it that most of the time we act as strangers?
I came across this video from the twloha website. I want to do work like this. I know that I am not entirely sure about what I want to do and accomplish as a designer, but this is definitely in the right direction. I want to contribute to something that brings others together...to heal, the empathize, and maybe just to figure out who we are. I want to be able to make sense of things and come to a place where I can find peace. There has to be others out there who want the same thing. I want to connect with others, and I want others to connect. We're all in this life-thing together. So then why is it that most of the time we act as strangers?
Friday, September 2, 2011
Sorry Camera, I've Been Neglecting You
I've been looking at tons of photography lately. I have tons and tons of photos I've found that inspire me in some way. I'm starting to realize how much I have been neglecting this subject. I used to take lots of photos, but now there are days when I don't even touch my camera. I'm not trying to make excuses or anything, but ever since my lense broke, I've touched the camera less and less. I need to change this habit.
