I need to learn how to take risks. I think they are needed to get anywhere worth getting to. The destination is much sweeter when it is worked hard for. I've avoided taking risks for most of my life due to the fear of failure. I must not let that fear keep me stagnant. I have so many dreams and goals, and the lack of healthy risk taking isn't going to let me reach them. I must not be afraid anymore. I need to keep taking risks until failure is meaningless except for a sign to get back up and keep on trying.

“Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. When people ask me what really changed my life eight years ago, I tell them that absolutely the most important thing was changing what I demanded of myself. I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, all the things I would no longer tolerate, and all the things that I aspired to becoming.” - Anthony Robbins

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” - M. Scott Peck

I came across these random quotes of which felt were relative to what's been happening lately... well more in the past few years...well more so since I began college, and I've been adding to it. I intentionally try to make myself uncomfortable. I make myself stay in a situation when all I want to do is to flee. I put myself in situations where it would be easier to just avoid it all together. I believe this stretches me and makes me stronger with all that I deal with internally. This change was needed so I wouldn't fall into my trap of always secluding myself. Secluding myself and being alone too much did nothing for me for far too long. I don't know why I thought it was ok. When I thought I was putting it off for later and making it easier for myself, all I was really doing was missing out on opportunity. I was missing out on life. So now I look back, and struggle with not beating myself up over what I never did.

I don't give myself enough credit for what I've done in the past five years. I have made progress since I decided I had to make a change in my ways. I look back and see how far I have come. Do I still struggle? Of course yes. Everyday. But they way I look at everything now makes a world of difference.

a short quick list...

things I will accept in my life:

• people who care
  
• my appearance
• my past
  
• compliments
• imperfection
• I can't do everything at once
  
• I am good enough
• change
• happiness
  

things I will no longer tolerate in my life:

• excuses
• negativity
• complaining
• false perception
• overwhelming doubt
• staying stagnant

things I aspire to become/do:

• build closer friendships
• give freely
• really put my heart into what I do
• connect more
  
• make more of a difference
• be more free