New Outlook

I used to live in the past, but now I just really want to live for the future and live in the present.

And Then The Rain Came

I had to carry a poster over a distance of a mile or so in the rain. It was cold, and my hands became red and numb. I still had a while to go until I was home, so I tried to focus my mind on something so that the walk wouldn't seem as long. I started out thinking about my week. Instead of making myself sad over it, I realized an analogy of my current situation: I was carrying this roll of paper, holding it close to my body, so that no rain can damage it. I was careful to keep it from harm, and I had to be strong (my arm was getting sore from holding my huge umbrella). I thought about how God does sort of the same thing. He carries me through the rain, and protects me. He is my shelter. Although things are tough right now, I have faith that He will carry me through and I'll be ok in the end.

another one i had tucked away...

Standing before me, you are one,
but you are the one I've been waiting for all my life.
So come here and let me hold you, Love,
and let's start forever.
With this kiss I'll be yours, and you'll be mine.

Please, Just One More Chance

This hurts the worst. It hurts more than the sadness of my depression, more than the pains of being ignored. It hurts. My heart hurts. And now I want to disappear, wait, no, I want to get better. I want to feel normal, myself, and I want to be happy. Most of all, I want to be happy with you. I want us to be together forever and share life. You say that you've never been this sure about anything in your life. Well, I've never been this sure that I love you. I really do. I really, really, positively do. A hundred thousand times I do. If you need a hundred thousand more, I'll give it to you. I am at the mercy of your heart. Please love me, love me like I know I can love you. You just need to be around long enough to see.