One. I want to do fliers, posters, album covers, band photography, shirts, etc. for bands or anything music related. I want to do this because I understand music, for I too am a musician. I want to help out and give back with my talents. I believe in the ultimate mission of music.
Two. I want to do things to reach out to the depressed and all the subcategories...the suicidal, the self-injurers, the substance abusers, the anxious, etc. I especially have a heart for people like this, I just want to do something. There is hope for them and they don't have to continue to live in the darkness.
People struggling with suicidal thoughts and those who are struggling with self injury have been in my thoughts lately....
I watched a documentary about self injury a year or so ago, and i wrote this poem in response to it:
And she counts her scars
One by one she tells her story
Of the heartbreak of a dimmer tomorrow
And bleeds out hopelessness for the present
Grins from the relief
Of watching the pain release
And for the moment she feels normal
But then remembers the dysfunction of these habits
Never more, the promises, o the promises
One more session, just one more resonates in her mind
One more
Always back for one more
And they never stop
An endless cycle of cries
That have became silent
And cries for help are never heard.
Now all that is yearned for is normalcy
And to feel once again
Cause the scars on her arms tell how you become numb.
And feeling is a distant memory
Something she once knew, but now is disengaged from
Wants to reconnect with what it is to feel
And become one with the mind that has left her senses
The two can never compromise
They separate—
The needs and the wants
The sanity and the fix
Battles
Always at war
Fighting to live,
Fighting to die
