Direction

I can't believe how long it's been since the last post. It's crazy how life gets so busy that I don't make time to reflect in words. Anyways, since i have one and a half years of school left, I've been thinking a ton about what I want to focus on when I get out. People always ask me and I never have an answer to give them. After doing some internal soul searching, I've come to the conclusion (at least for now) that I want to do two main things that's related to my graphic design knowledge.

One. I want to do fliers, posters, album covers, band photography, shirts, etc. for bands or anything music related. I want to do this because I understand music, for I too am a musician. I want to help out and give back with my talents. I believe in the ultimate mission of music.

Two. I want to do things to reach out to the depressed and all the subcategories...the suicidal, the self-injurers, the substance abusers, the anxious, etc. I especially have a heart for people like this, I just want to do something. There is hope for them and they don't have to continue to live in the darkness.

People struggling with suicidal thoughts and those who are struggling with self injury have been in my thoughts lately....

I watched a documentary about self injury a year or so ago, and i wrote this poem in response to it:

And she counts her scars

One by one she tells her story

Of the heartbreak of a dimmer tomorrow

And bleeds out hopelessness for the present

Grins from the relief

Of watching the pain release

And for the moment she feels normal

But then remembers the dysfunction of these habits

Never more, the promises, o the promises

One more session, just one more resonates in her mind

One more

Always back for one more

And they never stop

An endless cycle of cries

That have became silent

And cries for help are never heard.

Now all that is yearned for is normalcy

And to feel once again

Cause the scars on her arms tell how you become numb.

And feeling is a distant memory

Something she once knew, but now is disengaged from

Wants to reconnect with what it is to feel

And become one with the mind that has left her senses

The two can never compromise

They separate—

The needs and the wants

The sanity and the fix

Battles

Always at war

Fighting to live,

Fighting to die