I Miss You

Amazing things in my life are about to happen...I can feel it. At the same time, I can't help feeling left out of everything that is happening outside of my immediate bubble. People I considered friends don't include me, or even try to talk to me, anymore....and my heart is mourning, and has been for almost a year....and I'm crying right now because I miss them so much. I want so desperately for them to be a part of my life, and I want so desperately to be a part of theirs.

So Far...

Today is one of those days where I feel extremely insignificant. I've done nothing significant in my life and with my life. It's not that I want something significant so I can call it my own, because I will never say it is my works. Anything that I do that ends up being significant or makes the world better is all God's doing. He gets all the credit. I want to do significant things for Him and for His glory. I just want to feel like I am doing something for Him. So, that's why I feel so depressed right now. It feels like everyone in my life is doing things and going places with their talents and hopes and dreams, and I'm left still hoping and dreaming along with the talent I supposedly have looking, seeking, and waiting for opportunities to use my potential. Only problem: my opportunities are not found (they must be hiding really really good).

The State of My Reflections

I have to admit, I have been neglecting my blog again. Not only has this blog suffered, but every aspect of my recording and reflections... my journal, poetry, and sketchbooks have all felt empty. I have no excuse now since I graduated, no excuse. This should be an important time in my self discovery, and I can't believe how I let myself get away without reflecting on paper.

Not only have I been neglecting what I have mentioned above, I have realized I have been neglecting my friends. Every now and then I would see somebody, but it hasn't been anything consistent. I'm glad I have realized this now, so I can change it. I think when I came back from Richmond, I got really homesick, I missed that place and everyone I knew. Even they probably don't know and they were missed so much. I'm going to try to let people know how precious they are to me. I'm going to try real hard.