Fragile

[In response to what I was feeling during a meeting in the commons last thurs.]

Sometimes when I hear someone tell a story so emotionally moving, I am at a loss for words. I want to say something, but the words never leave my lips. And especially if the story is dealing with a dark subject, I try to hold back my tears and my heart gets heavy. This happened Thursday, and their stories are still on my heart and mind. All I could say to one girl in particular was “I’m sorry you had to go through that…” She had went through something I have never experienced and I felt helpless to relate. I pray for her in particular, for her to have the strength to deal with her decision and for her to have the hope that things will get better.

Overheard

[written on sept.24]

Yesterday I was passing time sitting on a couch in a hallway facing a window in a building at my school. I was eating lunch while looking out the window, watching all the people move about on campus. Then this girl sits on the other couch on the other side of me, talking on the phone. It was odd how loud she was talking compared to what she was talking about. I felt it was personal stuff, and she didn’t even try to be discreet about it.
I was waiting for her to get off the phone so may be I could talk to her because she seemed really stressed out about her situation, but she ended up leaving while still talking on her phone. I really hope she is ok now and that things get better for her.

Hope

My Direction

Fears vs. Dreams

I came across this video from the twloha website. I want to do work like this. I know that I am not entirely sure about what I want to do and accomplish as a designer, but this is definitely in the right direction. I want to contribute to something that brings others together...to heal, the empathize, and maybe just to figure out who we are. I want to be able to make sense of things and come to a place where I can find peace. There has to be others out there who want the same thing. I want to connect with others, and I want others to connect. We're all in this life-thing together. So then why is it that most of the time we act as strangers?

Something New

I have started another blog for a photo project:


thelandisyours.blogspot.com

Sorry Camera, I've Been Neglecting You

I've been looking at tons of photography lately. I have tons and tons of photos I've found that inspire me in some way. I'm starting to realize how much I have been neglecting this subject. I used to take lots of photos, but now there are days when I don't even touch my camera. I'm not trying to make excuses or anything, but ever since my lense broke, I've touched the camera less and less. I need to change this habit.

Switchfoot

It's Been Awhile

I need to blog here more. Sorry, tumblr has been stealing my attention. Don't worry Blogger, you're not forgotten.

I've been feeling alone lately. Sometimes I don't really know how to get out of it. It seems at times people go about their lives while I remain stuck. I just want to talk sometimes, but I feel there is no one to really talk to. It feels extremely lonely to go through things while nobody knows.

Also I have certain things to say to certain people, but I always put it off. Then I never know when it is too late to bring it up or to say it. I plan on getting around to it asap for things I think there is still time for. I feel like people forget about me when I still think about them. The funny thing is, is that they never know. I guess, and I probably know, it's because I never say anything in the first place.

I need to change these old habits...

So Thankful...

He is ever so faithful

His plan never fails

Everything happens in its right time

And I am ever so blessed

In this moment

I hold dear to all the memories

And I wouldn’t change a thing

He is perfect

And His love is abundant and plentiful is His grace

And His mercy brings me to my knees

And I weep in inadequacy

For I don’t deserve it all

And you save me from this wretched soul that once held me captive

An adventure would be nice...

...in the near near future. When will I get to do something amazing? I feel like my life is one big routine.

You are true and soften the ground that I’m treading

And I only see your love

For you are love,

O how you love

And you set me on fire

I am because you are

I’m consumed in you, your all consuming fire

Never would I dream of escaping your embrace

You wrap me in your warmth and I’m set ablaze

You call my name and I come running

Only to get lost in you,

I only want to get lost in you

Lost only in you

And wander helplessly in awe

Forever and always I want to seek your face

And seek your love

I can never get enough,

And yet your love is always enough

You are always enough,

and give me more than I deserve.

You’ve captured me, never let me lose your grip

And in those times I think I’ve slipped

You catch my fall and lay me at your feet,

And I see you so clearly,

You’ve been there all along

You’re ever so faithful

You are the truth and the light

You chase away the darkness that plagues my soul

And destroys the sickness that is within

And give me back myself

A self that was formed from you

And gives me life

I am only alive in you

Only alive when I am engaged in your truth

And the truth screams

So loudly I cannot keep it contained.

Your eyes are hazed behind a glaze of red film,

laid upon me from somewhere I’ve never been.

Moments aren’t meant to be spent like this,

you aren’t meant to be dying like this.

I breathe in your smoke that’s passed through your lungs;

precious air lost but its nothing if it gets me closer to you.

This one forgetful moment not forgotten,

lost in time,

but its mine.

I have this picture captured in my mind,

i close my eyes and I see, this photograph’s proof.

You drown yourself in your bottle of misery

each time you reach for another kiss from your poison,

moments aren’t meant to be spent like this,

you aren’t meant to be dying like this.

I can taste the smell of your warm toxic breath,

lost all inhibitions, but its nothing if it gets me closer to you.